Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
He didn't have any BODY to go with!

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
Lazy bones!

Why did they have to put a fence around the graveyard?
Everyone was just dying to get in.

What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?
A plumpkin!

How do you repair a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!

Little Monster: Ooh, I hate my teacher's guts!
Momma Monster: Well, then, darlin', just eat around them!

Little Monster: Should I eat my fries with my fingers?
Momma Monster: No, dear, you should eat them separately!  

Who is usually the best dancer at a Halloween party?
The Boogie Man!

What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
Necktarines!

What is the tallest building in Transylvania?
The Vampire State Building!

How do you unlock a haunted house?
With a skeleton key!

What did the first casket say to the second casket?
Is that you coffin?

How do you make a skeleton laugh?
You tickle its funny bone!

What does a skeleton say before eating?
Bone appetit!

What do you call a friendly and handsome monster?
A total failure!

Where can you find a one-handed monster?
In a second hand store!

What is a monster's favorite song?
"Ghouls just want to have fun"!

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray!

What's the problem with twin witches?
You can never tell which witch is which!

Why do witches fly on brooms?
Vacuum cleaner cords aren't long enough!

What was the witch's favorite subject in school?
SPELLing!

How does a ghost eat a hot dog?
By goblin' it!

What do ghosts serve for dessert?
I-Scream!

What did one cool ghost say to the other?
"Get a life, dude!"

Where do baby ghosts go while their parents are at work?
Day scare!

What streets do ghosts most like to live on?
Dead ends!

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.